In a couple where there is a neurodiverse child (eg, autism, ADHD, dyslexia, etc.), various tensions may arise due to the specific challenges involved in caring for and supporting such a child. Here are some of the common sources of voltage:

1. Stress and fatigue

Caring for a child with special needs can be very physically, emotionally and psychologically demanding. Parents can feel constant fatigue, especially if they are responsible for daily therapy, frequent medical visits, and educational support activities.

2. Differences in parenting styles

Each parent may have different ideas about how to approach their child's behaviors, treatments or therapies needed. These differences can lead to conflicts and disagreements over important parenting decisions.

3. Lack of Relationship Time

Parents of a neurodiverse child may devote almost all of their time and energy to meeting the child's needs, leaving their relationship as a couple on the back burner. This can lead to a lack of emotional connection and intimacy between partners.

4. Financial Pressure

The treatments and therapies needed for a neurodiverse child can be expensive. Additional costs such as therapy sessions, medications, special education programs can put a financial strain on the couple, which can be a source of conflict.

5. Social Isolation

Parents of children with special needs may feel misunderstood by friends or extended family members. This can lead to feelings of isolation and lack of an adequate support system, amplifying tensions between partners.

6. Constant worry about the future

Concerns about the child's future, such as its autonomy, ability to integrate into society or ensuring long-term support, can generate constant anxiety for both partners. These thoughts can fuel stress and create tension between parents.

7. Lack of resources and professional support

Sometimes parents do not have access to sufficient resources or support services. Frustration caused by not having access to adequate support can lead to tension and conflict within the couple.

8. The differences between acceptance and adaptation

Some parents may have difficulty accepting their child's diagnosis or adjusting to the new demands and responsibilities. Differences in how partners process and adapt to this reality can lead to conflict and misunderstandings.

9. Feelings of guilt and responsibility

A parent may feel guilty about the child's condition, especially if there is a genetic predisposition or other known risk factors. These feelings of guilt can create a difficult couple dynamic, where one partner may feel they didn't do enough or that they could have prevented this situation.

10. Insufficient Communication

Under the pressure of daily problems, communication between partners can become shallow or absent. A lack of open communication about each other's needs, frustrations, and hopes can lead to resentment and tension building up.

In general, managing these tensions requires conscious efforts at communication, mutual support, flexibility, empathy, and often help from professionals (couples therapists, counselors, etc.). It is important for parents to spend time with each other, seek support from other families in similar situations and prioritize their relationship as a couple in order to provide a stable and healthy foundation for the whole family.